My Planet Writing - Exile

Create and Describe Your Own Planet -

Description writing task

Term 2 Weeks 5-6

Purpose of this piece of writing is to:

Learning Intentions

I am learning to use language features to make my writing
interesting and engaging for the reader.

I am learning to use topic-specific vocabulary.

I am learning to include Te Reo Māori words in my writing.

I will be successful when I can show….

-I have used some language features to make my writing
interesting and engaging (simile, metaphor, alliteration,
onomatopoeia, rhyme)

-I have carefully chosen some topic specific words to include in
my writing.

-I have used some Te Reo Māori

Focus

We are continuing to look at descriptive writing. This week you are writing a descriptive piece of writing
to promote your imaginary planet. You aim is to convince people to move to your planet. You want your
writing to allow the reader to be able to imagine what it is like on your planet.

First, we will look at an excerpt of a video describing the moon from the Avatar movie.
Click here to get to video= Pandora.

Second, we will discuss together what you will need in your work to make it successful and look at
how to plan our work. Then you will plan your work and check with a teacher before you start writing.

Third, do your piece of writing.

Fourth, complete you piece of writing. Remember to proof-read (check spelling and punctuation)
and edit (does it make sense? do you need to change any sentences?) yourself and with a buddy
and fill in your self and peer-assessment. Check it with a teacher.

My Writing

Have you ever been to the planet Exile?

Exile is a tropical planet that orbits Earth's sun. Exile is the 4th from the sun and a terrestrial planet. Exile is 500 million light years away from earth.

Exile is made up of rocky maunga (mountains) and moana’s (sea’s) just like Earth. Exile is habitable for humans to live on. It produces its own oxygen and its atmosphere is almost perfect for humans to live in. On planet Exile there isn’t as much gravity as planet earth so if you jump high into the air instead of coming back down to where you jumped you will end up 3km away. Exile has a ring made of water that stops debris and asteroids crashing into the planet.

To get to the magnificent planet called Exile you have to cover your whole body with onepū (sand) and lie on the ground for 2 minutes and a portal SHOULD open and you will arrive in Exile.  Be warned if you are not a good person you will not get there. When you arrive in Exile you get to choose your climate temperature. On Exile the weather can be very crazy and wild but most of the time it is tropical and beautiful. The options are: -20℃ to 10℃, 11℃-20℃, 21℃-27℃ the last temperature choice is 28℃-35℃.

Exile has seas as clear as glass and trees as tall as giraffes. Exile has huge moana's (seas) that stretch far and wide. A cool fact about Exile is that some of the fruit and leaves on trees glow with phosphorescence at night. Exile has beautiful awa’s (river’s) that are perfect for swimming in, no matter what the weather, all year round. The sand on the beaches is just like tiny gold flakes shimmering in the sun. The sky is the colour of pacific kahurangi (blue).

On Exile there are people called Mowfs ; they are half human and half fox. Mowfs have fox ears, fox tails and blue skin but the rest of them is human. They are tahi (1) and a half metres tall. Mowfls aroha( love) to kanikani (dance) and waiata (sing) when they are happy. Mowfls and have been living on Exile for 4.604 billion years. Mowfls have built houses at the bottom of trees right up to the leaves at the very tip top. There are only 5 million Mowfls so there is lots of room for humans to live. Mowfs are not that friendly towards humans because once a long time ago a human killed their queen.

BE WARNED! If you choose to live in the -20℃ to 10℃  range you have a chance of freezing, getting hypothermia and dying.  If you go too close to the home of the queen Mowf without permission you will be transported back to Earth and arrive in the middle of the ocean surrounded by man eating sharks.

By Mackenzie 😀😀