Descriptive Writing

At the moment in class, we have been working on descriptive writing. We have been using pictures to give us ideas of what to write about. Here is a piece of writing I did. 

click here for a link to the original work.

The Abandoned Hospital.

As I walk through the light emerald trees, I hear the manu (birds) chirping in the sizzling hot rā (sun). As I am walking I see an abandoned building. Through all the moss and dirt I read a sign which says hōhipere (hospital). I wonder what happened?
I decide to go inside to explore and to escape the rā (sun) which was beating down
on my back.

Inside I was hit in the face with the strong aroma of chared rakau (wood) and ash.
I continue walking. Creak... Creak I stop dead in my tracks what was that. WWas somebody else in here as well? Shivers were sent up my spine. I looked down at
my waiwai (feet) to see that I was just standing on creaking floorboards. What a relief!

As I explore the smell of burnt rakau (wood) follows me around wherever I go.
BANG CRASH! What was that? I was so scared I jumped. I realised that It was
just a piece of steel falling to the ground. I think I know what happened; there
was a fire! I wonder how it happened?